Love did not even enter into it until about 100 years ago. He could never admit this to me even when his friends told me and I had proof he was lying to me! If you want to negotiate the terms, you need to go to the other party and negotiate. But there is one problem. This is not in any way a justification, but I also think the fact that I met these men on a cheating website does factor in. If they are able to have an open, honest dialogue with their partner where they explain that they don't feel like their needs are being met, and mutually agree to an open relationship, more power to them. Does that not bother you? If you're so sure you can stop, why don't you? Also, I'm really enjoying this great conversation that's remained quite respectful.
If a relationship is perfect the vast majority of people won't cheat. He wanted someone to talk to. Always one step ahead of me, my friend had been looking into sex workshops for individuals and couples at a Toronto sex store, with titles like Joystick Secrets and The Art of Feminine Dominance. To me that would be more like quoting the bible or saying do this because god wants you to. Soon after this happened, I initiated a conversation with my fiancé that ended our relationship.
What are we doing to ourselves? When one person does that without the other its betrayal, pain and simple, no gray areas or result can change that duck from being a duck. Oh yeah I should mention I totally lie about my age. Meanwhile, you are perpetuating a very great betrayal against a woman you have never met. He was never going to leave his wife, and I never wanted him to.
There is so much more going on out there than most people would know! You don't get to be selfish in a relationship. Your post is thoughtful and well spoken; there is a lot Lucy seems to be ignoring or just not thinking about. My reaction has been interesting, I haven't done anything and don't intend to but I really feel like if I did it wouldn't have anything to do with my boyfriend. Now not all women are like that. No one gets to have sex with other people without the consent of everyone that sex directly affects. Don't you know people can get hurt? That's how you get these men saying its their wives and girlfriends faults, because they don't have the courage to look within and realize that its no ones fault but their own that they are unhappy.
Oh man, I had to wait a second to reply, because this really stirred up something nasty in me. I've heard interviews and read articles about polyamorous relationships and I'm not sure if it's something I'd like to be a part of or not, but what I do like about the thought of an 'open' relationship is the honesty, respect, and openness. They all have some version of your guys' stories and quite frankly I don't care why they are cheating. .
I never gave Ashley Madison any personally identifiable information or credit card numbers. I commented elsewhere, and I'll say again — I believe the fact that these men were seeking out extramarital affairs does factor in. Even after our awkward encounters, I was still attracted to him and had begun to feel emotionally attached. Her blog contains little-to-no mentions or links to Ashley Madison and it's not designed in such a way or has the following that would make one think it's part of some gorilla marketing campaign. I never expected to be in this situation, but it is something that is out there and I thought Sarah's readers might find it interesting. I would venture to say that this very attitude is the reason for the rise in debauchery over the past 50 years.
A couple of weeks into my membership, the headlines hit: Hackers broke into the website and stole records about its subscribers. Chances are despite what they tell you they most likely are still intimate with their wives. All the attention, friendly or not, made me feel good about myself again. I was always in school and being responsible during my should have been care-free twenties, so now I'm experiencing this.
When I was younger, before I had adult relationships of my own, I thought cheating was black and white, but as I experience life I can empathize with how it happens. Can we stop pretending that sex is just sex? I asked if there was anything else getting in the way. Anonymous Ash, I really think you nailed it when you said that honesty is the heart of the issue. I have no respect for anyone involved in cheating, even if you are the third party, and instead I feel sorry for you, because you must have a truly sad life if you need to do something like that to feel good about yourself.